How Fertility Struggles Impact Our Lives
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When someone thinks about infertility, they may assume that it simply means a struggle to conceive. Technically, that is the definition according to the CDC – not being able to get pregnant after a year or more of trying. But, if you were to ask someone who is navigating infertility and seeking treatment or IVF to build their family, they could tell you the struggle goes far beyond not being able to conceive. Infertility affects an individual in many ways and while the medical diagnosis may have an appropriate treatment protocol – the additional concerns may be harder to address.
Here are several ways infertility and fertility treatment impact our lives
Physical Discomfort
IVF and the treatments prescribed for infertility are often very hard on the physical body. Hormonal medications, invasive procedures, and testing such as blood draws, ultrasounds and uterine exams can be uncomfortable and sometimes even painful. Many of the medications needed to prepare for an IVF cycle are self-injected including the notorious PIO injections (progesterone in oil) which is injected intro muscular – most women choose their gluteus maximus (aka the bum). The medications can also trigger side effects such as fatigue, bloating, and headaches.
Many women who endure the physical discomfort of treatment will tell you it is well worth it for a successful cycle, but that doesn’t always make the pain easier.
How to manage it: For many of the side-effects of medications and discomforts of testing or exams there are solutions. Hydration is crucial for hormonal effects and helpful for making blood draws easier. Prioritizing rest and relaxation is good for fatigue and headaches. Light movement such as walking or yoga can also help with the discomfort of some of the side-effects.
Related Read: Coping With The Side-Effects of IVF
Relationships
Couples often have different coping styles; one partner may be highly emotional releasing stress through tears or talking, while the other may be more analytical and guarded. Recent studies have shown the significant difference in how male and female fertility patients manage the emotional stress.
Intimacy may suffer when a couple is managing this kind of stress and the hormonal medications can wreak havoc on a woman’s sex drive triggering tension when a male partner feels rejected and the female partner feeling guilty and uncomfortable.
Additionally, for many couples struggling to get pregnant is a sense of guilt. If the cause of infertility lies primarily with one partner or the other, the feeling that there is something wrong with them and that the problem is their fault can be overwhelming. It’s helpful to validate the partner’s feelings and guilt and reassure them there is no blame.
How to manage it: As with any relationship stress, it is important for both parties to prioritize communication and actively listening to their partner when they are expressing their feelings. Often, just feeling heard and validated can alleviate much of the tension. It’s also important to find ways to spend time together and talk about topics outside of fertility. Just as you are more than your struggle – your relationship is more than this chapter.
Related Read: Connecting With Your Partner Through A Fertility Struggle
Finance
Fertility treatment is expensive. The costs associated with visits to the clinic, testing, procedures, and medications – just to name a few expenses – are overwhelming to patients. Even if you are fortunate enough to have an insurance benefit that covers some of the costs, there are other factors to consider such as co-pays, travel, loss of time at work, and supplemental therapies like acupuncture or counseling. The price tag is an added source of anxiety for anyone managing this complicated process.
How to manage it: Educating yourself on your available benefit and options will give you a clear picture of your anticipated expenses, allowing you to feel more in control. Have detailed conversations with your insurance company to understand your benefit as well as with a financial coordinator at your clinic who can offer advice and guidance on financing your treatment.
Related Read: How To Pay For IVF
Career
A recent survey conducted by Carrot and Resolve showed that over 59% of individuals struggling to conceive admitted that it impacts their work performance. Additionally, 74% of respondents shared that they spent time researching fertility treatments and family forming while at the office. This won’t come as a surprise to anyone who has experienced this sort of difficulty. Struggling to get pregnant can be all consuming.
If you sit at a computer during office hours it can be tempting to dive down a google rabbit hole, search test results examples, or chat with online support forums during your work hours. You may also be forced to sneak away or leave early on days that you have clinic appointments or testing. Ideally, you work in a healthy environment where you feel comfortable discussing your required flexibility with a supervisor or HR department, but it’s still stressful to tricky to balance your work with your treatment.
How to manage it: Given the physical and emotional demands for someone trying to get pregnant, the stress is bound to leak into their professional life. Stay organized in the office with a clear task list to stay focused and resist the urge to use this time toward googling IVF hacks or chatting with a support group.
Related Read: When Infertility Impacts Your Career
Depression/ Self-Esteem
Studies have shown that the stress and emotional distress of navigating infertility and IVF is comparable to the stress of a cancer diagnosis. The trauma of struggling to get pregnant is very real and valid, yet so many women internalize their emotions. It is common for IVF patients to become depressed or experience significant anxiety due to the emotional strain, pressure, and medications of their treatment. While more recently infertility and the demands of fertility treatment have been more widely discussed and shared, there is still a stigma of shame associated with the struggle to have a baby and low self-esteem. The effects of depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem is troubling for a woman’s well-being and can disrupt fertility health, making it even more difficult to conceive.
How to manage it: The emotional toll infertility and fertility treatment can have on a fertility patient needs to be taken seriously. If you are struggling with your mental health while trying to conceive it is crucial to reach out to your provider, a therapist, or coach to provide guidance and resources to support your health. Prioritizing your mental health is not only important for your goal to have a baby, but also for your overall well-being.
*If you are experiencing feelings or thoughts of self-harm or depression where you are no longer able to function, contact your doctor immediately.
Related Read: Self-Care For An IVF Cycle
These are just some of the ways infertility and fertility treatments can cause tension in our lives, but everyone is different and each experience is unique. The Positive Fertility Method offers solutions and tools to manage these stressors and more. Learn more here.
I would love to help you navigate this challenging road and make the journey more positive. Schedule a chat today and follow Positive Fertility on Instagram for daily support and inspiration!
Don’t forget to download your FREE resource - 3 Hidden Obstacles Standing In Your Way Of Getting Pregnant - a must read for anyone navigating IVF or fertility goals.
